Monday, April 09, 2007

Every Time

You know those detectors that you pass through on your way out of just about every store now days? The ones that are supposed to catch shoplifters? They make a loud racket and every one turns to look at you? Yeah, well I set those off EVERY SINGLE TIME. On my way in a store, and again on my way out. I think what bothers me the most is that every time it happens the people in the store just look at me. Like, "why is she bothering us with this racket". Like it is my fault their stupid detector thinks I'm made of metal. It happened to me 3 times today, once yesterday, twice on Saturday. Chris is about ready to quit shopping with me.

It actually makes me a bit nervous. Probably because I've been watching a ton of X-Files lately. Remember how Agent Scully finds out that she has something implanted in her because when she goes through the metal detector at FBI headquarters the alarm keeps going off? I'm pretty sure I haven't had any missing time, or an anal probe, so I'm hoping it isn't an alien implant. But, if I end up with some crazy alien cancer that they can't figure out how to treat, you'll know what it was.

Maybe it is just my magnetic personality.

Security Guard: "That thing is more sensitive than a toothache."

Doctor: [examining shrapnel removed from Scully's neck] "Well it's definitely not buckshot. I, uh, I know what it looks like, uh, but I couldn't tell you how it got there. Take a look."
Scully: "It looks like a computer chip."
Doctor: "That's what it looks like."

1 comment:

Roberta said...

Hate to break it to you, but you don't have an implant. You have an iRiver.

My iRiver always sets off the alarm at a specific Ralph's in my area. I've tested walking through it with and without the iRiver on the same visit. Weird.

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